Saturday, March 23, 2013

Running from the Grand Ennui


I knew I'd lost the light
And I was moving through the night
Running from the grand ennui
 Well, that was a long and eventful hiatus. Someone asked me recently why the blog stopped after I got back from South Dakota, and I replied that that was the last interesting thing that had happened to me. This is not, in the strictest sense, true: there have been ten kinds of shit going down since then. This has been simultaneously the best and worst year of my life. Yea verily it is the spring of hope and the winter of despair, and yet the more things change, the more they stay the same.

 In a word (well, two): grad school. The Master's giveth and the Master's taketh away. Trying to hit it and quit it before the money runs out means I have a hefty schedule of speed reading and BSing to deal with if there's to be any hope in my future of a home with four walls and no wheels.

  In another word: work. What IS this job I have? Every day is a big box of crazy with the lurking possibility of sexual harassment thrown in for good measure. Luckily, there are the Girls, the Maven, and my "biffle" to keep me from gouging my eyes out with a microspatula. Recently we've taken our righteous indignation public via Tumblr, which if you're reading this, you probably already know how to find.

 In the last word: home. Am still too old and weird to be here. And lately it's been crazier than ever. Turns out our legendary Appalachian immunity, while rendering us impervious to poison ivy, Lyme disease, and Mountain Dew overdosing, does not protect us against the ravages of time. People here are getting old and sick and I'm processing it in a less than ideal way.

 In summation, it's been a pretty mixed bag. There have been times of elation, joy, and hope, and periods of absolute black soul-sucking depression, sometimes within hours of each other. I'm trying to focus on more immediate things because I'm not convinced there is anything at the end of this tunnel, and to appreciate things for what they are instead of lamenting what they're not. Either way, I'll try to keep you posted.



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