June 17

  Same bat time, same bat place.

  Camped out in the library for the day with a box of Wheat Thins, trolling Craigslist for a new place to stay. Next time I go into work, I'm gonna ask if I can crash on their couch or throw up a tent on the roof. Yeah -- it's that bad.

  In less depressing news, my two day unpaid internship has magically morphed into a three day miracle -- two doing regular intern-y stuff and one paid day helping out the director of WG Publications, the business part of the Foundation. It's nothing too exciting or brag-worthy -- updating databases, research, the ongoing hunt for lost songs -- but it comes with above minimum wage pay, reimbursed parking, and even some gas money for the hour and a half commute. Frankly, I'm over the moon about it. Less time to think and fewer money worries is a win-win.

  Panicking about money and feeling lonely are pretty much the betes noires of my existence. If it were only one, things would be fine; but they tend to align and make me want to stab my eyes out with a can opener or jump into the Walkill River.

  The part that gets me is that much of this could have been avoided. Before I left, I loaned a close family member  five hundred dollars, which most likely I'll never see again, because she was on her way to the food bank and I couldn't stand to think about her in such dire straits. I also put the final nail in the coffin of a fake relationship, which at least would have been something to hope for, by sliding a confession note through an open car window, to which I have received zero response and now have to panic about either a) looking like a fool or b) my amorous intentions becoming known to a stranger in some parking lot or roadside unseen.

  I haven't told many people the aforementioned stories, but I'm fairly certain that hardly anyone reads this, and those that do were forewarned about the loose conglomeration of desperate events I call my life. But, hope springs eternal (does it?): currently negotiating with a middle-aged man in a nearby town  to share his cheap 1BR apartment. Yep, one bedroom. Stay tuned for future crises.