Hello, stranger

Well, just two more weeks until you're hearing me complain about living at home again! There really is no middle ground: I'm either unhappy alone or I'm unhappy with people. At least one unhappiness is free and includes a dishwasher. Dayum, I am spoiled.

Anyhow, what a weird effing week. Old Man Lunch Club are now my biggest fans (genteel Southern manners never fail to charm), boss who probably still thinks I'm incompetent wants me to write a conference paper on our collection (cue this face), and a shady man from the past is blowing up my inbox.

Let's cut right to the chase. It's ALC, whom you may remember from several depressing posts from about two years ago. We became good friends (?) the last semester of school and into the summer, and I was pretty sure he was the chainmail-crafting, bad-movie-pirating man of my dreams. We talked and texted every day, and had weekly dinner and movie dates. Yet no decisive action ever took place. When I finally said something (albeit in the most redonk and creepy way possible), he responded that he was not interested. Oh. Um, okay. He wasn't mean or weird about it (which he certainly could've been -- I basically broke into his car at 1 a.m.). But how confusing. I was less heartbroken than just completely befuddled. I just... if it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, and cooks me dinner at its apartment, it should be a damn duck. If this kind of attention is indicative of just friendship, how are we ever supposed to know when they are interested? Men are ridiculous, end of story. It's either this or those ones who claim their inclinations were so obvious that we must be blind to not understand. Nope, you're full of shit. Go sit down.

Anyway, I went off to New York, and ALC went off to grad school in a foreign country that fall. We continued to talk, until one day, with no warning, he disappeared from the almighty Facebook. I'm not suggesting that FB should be anyone's primary mode of communication, but when you're in another country, don't have a phone, and I don't have your email address, it's pretty much the only outlet left. I was puzzled and frankly disappointed. I mean, feel free to cut the ties of FB whenever, but don't leave me with no way to contact you if we are, in fact, friends. It was weird, but eventually I just decided he was cutting home ties generally and becoming immersed in his new life. Nothing I could do about it. A year passes, no news. We all figure he's dead, in jail, or in earnest pursuit of local girls (/boys? Jury's still out.).

Cut to last week, when out of nowhere, I get a notice on LinkedIn from ALC. Whaaaaaaaaat? Throwing caution to the wind, I send him a message asking where the hell he's been. And now we're emailing every day like two years have not passed. We're still on the same topics, too: crappy movies, bad drink recipes, and the masterful intricacy of R. Kelly lyrics. Even though I know he's not interested in me, it's nice to have someone like me to talk to again. He's not from around here, so it's doubtful I'll ever see him again. Still, you need all the friends you can get, amirite?